With Valentine’s Day just behind us, it’s a good reminder that love isn’t just about romance—it’s about how we show up for ourselves too. We live in a world that constantly tells us to do more, be more, and chase perfection, and it’s way too easy to put off appreciating who we are right now. Like we’re waiting to reach some imaginary milestone before we give ourselves credit.
But self-love isn’t about hitting goals or fixing flaws. It’s about accepting yourself as you are, treating yourself with kindness, and actually prioritizing your well-being—not just when it’s convenient, but always.
So let’s get into it. How do you actually practice self-love in a way that feels real and sustainable?
What Self-Love Actually Means
It’s not about being self-absorbed or thinking you have it all figured out. It’s about learning to be on your own team. It’s about respecting yourself enough to set boundaries, prioritizing your needs, and recognizing your worth even on the days you don’t feel your best. And while a face mask or a long bath can be nice, real self-love goes deeper—it’s about how you talk to yourself, how you take care of your mind and body, and how you move through life.
Ways to Actually Practice Self-Love
It’s not about flipping a switch overnight. Real self-love happens through small, intentional choices. Here’s what’s helped me (and might help you too).
1. Get to Know Yourself—Really
How well do you actually know yourself? Beyond the surface-level stuff. What makes you light up? What drains you? What are your values? These things shape how you move through the world, and understanding them is key to making choices that align with who you are—not just what’s expected of you.
And when it comes to self-talk? Catch yourself in the act. If you wouldn’t say it to someone you love, don’t say it to yourself. Replace those harsh thoughts with something more constructive: “I’m learning,” “I’m doing my best,” “I’m worthy.”
2. Set Boundaries and Stick to Them
Loving yourself means protecting your energy. That might look like saying no to plans that drain you, stepping back from toxic relationships, or simply carving out time for yourself without guilt. You’re not here to be everything for everyone. Prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
3. Be Kind to Yourself on Hard Days
You’re not going to get it right all the time. No one does. But what matters most is how you respond to those tough moments. Instead of beating yourself up, try asking: “What can I learn from this?” or “How can I be gentler with myself right now?”
You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to show up for yourself, even when it’s hard.
4. Take Care of Your Body—Without the Pressure
This isn’t about chasing a certain aesthetic. It’s about treating your body with respect. Move in a way that feels good. Eat in a way that nourishes you. Rest when you need it. And remind yourself that rest isn’t something you have to earn—it’s essential.
5. Celebrate the Small Wins
We tend to focus on what’s still missing, what we haven’t done yet. But what about everything you have done? Whether it’s something big or as simple as getting through a tough day, take a moment to acknowledge it. Self-love grows when you recognize your own progress.
6. Let Go of the Past
We all have things we wish we could change. But holding onto past mistakes or regrets only keeps you stuck. Self-love means forgiving yourself, allowing yourself to grow, and moving forward with a little more grace. You are not your past. You are who you choose to be today.
7. Do More of What Makes You Feel Alive
What brings you joy? What makes you feel like you? Whether it’s movement, creativity, time in nature, or just giving yourself space to breathe—make time for it. Life is busy, but that doesn’t mean your happiness should take a backseat.
Self-Love is a Practice
It’s not about getting it “right” every single day. Some days will feel easy; others won’t. But the goal isn’t perfection—it’s consistency. Start small. Be patient. Show up for yourself, even in the messy moments. Set boundaries, take care of your body, and celebrate how far you’ve come.